Diaries of a SmallTown Matchmaker
by Rhianwen
Summary: Wendy always knew there had to be more to life than data entry, and when she moves to Mineral Town, she encounters her destined life's work: matchmaking! And, you know, a little bit of farming, if there's time.
1. Chapter 1

Diaries of a Small-Town Matchmaker

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Summary: Life in Mineral Town was chuggin' along just fine. Until that darned farmer, Wendy came to town and decided to play matchmaker. Badly.

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Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, they don't like me. I sort of own Wendy, but even she was based on someone else.

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_Dear Diary,_

_I am Bored. Nothing interesting ever happens to me. Nothing interesting ever _will_ happen to me, mainly because I don't have _time_ for anything to happen to me._

_Get up in the morning, work all day, eat three meals, and go to bed. _

_Alright, so that is a little inaccurate. I suppose it's more like, get up in the morning, take an hour-and-a-half bus ride, eat breakfast at my desk, work until noon, eat lunch at my desk, work until four or until my brain melts and trickles messily out my ears, take another hour-and-a-half bus ride home, wolf down supper, watch TV while whining about being exhausted, and finally give up and stumble to bed._

_Bored, bored, bored._

_Honestly, how on earth is anyone supposed to have the energy for a thriving and colourful social life when office work is draining every bit of energy and hope from their soul?_

_Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored._

_Love and scribbles,_

_Wendy_

_------------------------------------------------------_

_Dear Diary,_

_I am still Bored._

_I don't understand why nothing interesting ever happens to me; things are _always_ happening to other people! _

_Why, just this morning, I was on the bus, on my way to work, and a gaggle of police cars signaled for the bus to pull over! Then a lot of officers charged onto the bus, and arrested the man sitting next to me for embezzlement, murder, kidnapping, video piracy, unpaid parking tickets, _and_ removing the Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law tag from his mattress! _

_One of the officers grabbed me by the arm and lifted me right out of my seat just as my bus neighbour pulled out a gun and made a grab for me. The officer told me that he had likely intended to take me as a hostage. They read him his rights and dragged him off the bus, and then took me with them for questioning. You know, had the man said anything to me, had he been behaving strangely, and so forth._

_Naturally, he hadn't, because _that_ sort of excitement could never happen to me._

_After that, they drove me to work, assuring me that my bus neighbour would not be bothering me, as he was to be shipped off to a maximum security prison that very day._

_Honestly, some people get all the excitement! It's just not fair!_

_Perhaps I'll take to knocking off innocent passers-by, just to generate the excitement of running from the police._

_No, of course I won't, because if I'm too tired to even go out to a bar with the girls after work, I'm certainly too tired to run from the police._

_Although, if I've already committed brutal murder, I suppose I likely wouldn't be so worried about missing a day or two of work._

_I'll have to think about this._

_But in the meantime, I am still Bored._

_Bored, bored, bored._

_Love and scribbles,_

_Wendy_

_----------------------------------------------------_

_Dear Diary,_

_This is it! The excitement I crave! And I didn't even have to spill innocent blood to find it!_

_Apparently, all I had to do was pick up a newspaper, getting all set up to whine about how everyone else's life is more exciting than mine. _

_The first thing my eyes lighted upon, in an uncanny show of coincidence, was an advertisement for a farm. Live a relaxing life on the farm, it said. _

_Immediately, my eyes glazed over and I had a brief montage of all the fun I might have, feeding a cow, riding a horse, playing with a dog, and lying in a field._

_Naturally, I phoned and snapped the offer right up like a chocoholic lunging for a Chippit. And so, I am to arrive by boat in Mineral Town in approximately sixty-eight hours._

_Oh, I'm so excited, I'll never be able to sleep tonight!  
_

_Humm. It occurs to me that perhaps I should apprise my boss of this new development._

_Love and scribbles,_

_Wendy_

_-----------------------------------------------_

_Dear Diary,_

_So...tired..._

_But a good tired this time, the sort of tired that feels like it has a purpose. In this case, that purpose is getting my apartment packed up, ready for the move to this Mineral Town. I've had contact a few more times with the real estate agent, who continues to assure me that I've made an excellent decision, until I'm becoming a bit nervous. _

_At any rate, I did remember to hand in my resignation, but apparently not soon enough. _

_Two weeks! Honestly! Who knows _two weeks_ in advance that they're going to be randomly selling their apartment and moving to a farm in a tiny country village?_

_And at first, I was rather anxious to retract my only slightly hasty decision._

_The state of that farm was unbelievable! Hundreds of perfectly identical branches and eerily round stones the size of the average human head, lying all over the place in neat little rows! The occasional Very Large Round Rock, and the slightly less occasional Very Large Lumpy-Looking Rock! Weeds everywhere! A house that looks distinctly like a muffin! And I don't know _how_ those stumps got into the middle of my field, unless the previous owner had an orchard on the site and the local woodsman has been sneaking in to furtively hack down the trees by the light of the moon._

_At any rate, ten-o-clock this morning saw me standing before my brand-new field, staring in speechless and dot-dot-dotting dismay at the mess, when a man about half my size scurried up to me and asked a lot of stupid questions, before laughing hysterically and telling me that I'd been tricked like a gullible little fool._

_So, I beat him soundly with my hammer. Then I hacked at him once or twice with my axe. Then I pounded him over the head with my hoe. Then I slashed repeatedly at him with my sickle, while reflecting in surprise that my purse was deceptively large for such a tiny-looking thing. Then I dumped water on his bits._

_Unfortuantely, this was all just in my imagination. Back in the real world, I just sort of stood there, looking wobbly-eyed and pitiful until he apologized for laughing, and kindly offered to let me run the farm that I had paid good money for, thank-you-very-much, since my job was distant history and my apartment being currently lived in by someone else._

_Honestly! He'll _let_ me try my hand at running _my_ farm, that I've already bought in full, non-refundable! What a prince! _

_I don't know that my acceptance was terribly gracious; I suspect that I just sort of snarled at him and stomped back into the farmhouse with my new puppy that's sort of adopted me._

_At least there's that. My sweet, snuggly little friend, Mr. Dog. _

_My sweet, snuggly, hyperactive little friend, Mr. Dog._

_My sweet, snuggly,hyperactive, mangy little friend Mr. Dog, who has just proceeded to fall asleep on my legs so that I can't move to put my diary away without waking him and sending him bolting crazily around the room after imaginary gophers again._

_Bloody dog._

_Love and scribbles,_

_Wendy_

_------------------------------------------------------------- _

_Dear Diary,_

_Owwww..._

_I want to go home._

_I miss my nice, safe little city where everyone ignored me, but at least they usually left me alone to do it. _

_I think there might be something a little odd with that statement, but I'll chalk it up to sheer exhaustion, no more crippling than what anyone might experience after a day of crushing rocks and singing Po' Lazarus at the top of their voice until the non-existent neighbours complained. Really; a little white bunny materialized in front of me and gave me an annoyed, reproachful look. I asked if Look Down and other selections from Les Miserables would be more to its little bunny-taste, but it just hopped disgustedly away. I must say, it was awfully cute. _

_Then a squirrel came and threw a nut my head, before shaking a tiny fist angrily. It's a very strange community._

_And that's only the animal kingdom!_

_Honestly, I've been so barraged with helpful advice, that I've hardly gotten a thing done all day! If it had actually _been_ helpful, I might not have minded, but I fail to see why I needed a three-hour lecture on the nature of the big wooden crate in front of the house marked "Shipping Box". It was, of course, good to know the pick-up times, but I think that big angry Zack fellow with the silly towel hanging around his neck might have put a little more trust in my intelligence than to go through a lengthy demonstration on how to pick up an object, walk it to the box, open the box, and place it carefully inside. _

_He forgot to close the box, by the way. _

_When I pointed this out, he flew into a rage and demanded to know if I would like to take over the shipping for the town, since I clearly thought I knew everything._

_I wasn't aware that closing a box constituted "everything" in certain parts of the world._

_And just as soon as Zack went away, the short man in the silly red hat returned to demand why I hadn't been out and about, making new friends yet._

_At great length._

_Without bothering to give me a chance to answer._

_Growl._

_By the time _he_ went away, it was late afternoon, and so my first day was a total write-off, as everything in town closes at four. Apparently, everyone knows_ that_, although it took a quick jaunt into town, a quick jaunt back from the mountains and the _right_ way into town, and a quick jaunt back home after I found myself in a ghost town and that third patch of tumbleweed blew across my path, while someone in the distance whistled a jaunty fourth interval, for me to learn it._

_And after my unsuccessful attempts at finding a more satisfying social network than a dumb jock with a perpetual sneer-smirk hybrid – kind of a snirk – and a potato with a mustache, I got straight to the rock-breaking and singing. _

_Which, to be honest, was awfully fun._

_Tomorrow, the twigs._

_I'll have to think up some good wood-chopping songs._

_Ooh, I can't wait until I actually get to _plant_ something!_

_Love and scribbles, _

_Wendy._

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End Notes: Hi!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Author's Notes: Okay, first things first. gives Trinity a huge cookie for spotting Wendy What can I say? I wuvs me my Wendy. I have that much in common with Mr. Joker, anyway. :D

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_**Spring 3**_

_Dear Diary, _

_I must say, there's a lot less _farming _in this business of running a farm than I would have imagined. _

_Although, this might just be the distinct lack of crop seeds in my possession. The little red mustache-bearing potato left me a packet of turnip seeds, just to get me started, but they met an unfortunate end in my fishpond. I swear, the little picture of the turnip on the front of the packets really did look like a fish at six o clock this morning! _

_And unfortunately, I was unable to make up for my own sleep-deprivation-induced stupidity by buying more seeds, as today is the Supermarket's day off. Which is all well and good, I suppose. Even a Supermarket needs time off once in a while, to relax and ponder its existence as a Supermarket. _

_Therefore, 'farming' as of late has mostly consisted of racing wildly through the mountains in a desperate search for something to sell. _

_Oh, but while I was in town discovering that the Supermarket is having a rest, I did meet a few more citizens of this lovely rural village, and I am glad to report that they are not _all_ little mustached potatoes or big towel-wearing meanies. _

_In fact, the first new face I saw was at the Supermarket itself; after ten minutes of pounding and pitiful pleas for them to open up for just a minute and sell me some seeds, a girl about my age came to the door. She seemed rather cross about something. Nevertheless, she was very polite, introducing herself as Karen Holt, the grocer's daughter. _

_This was shortly before ordering me to go away wait until they reopened tomorrow, if I valued my life, and slamming the door in my face. _

_Thus bolstered by a meeting with by far the pleasantest person I had encountered in town, and still with an entire day to spend as I wished (owing to the early start I'd made from home at 7:00, only to wait in front of the Supermarket for an hour and a half, for 9:00). _

_So, I went to the next nearest building: the Clinic! _

_I thought to myself, farming is going to involve a lot of sharp things that I, as the farmer, will likely have to handle at some point. And sharp things _near_ me, let alone in my hands, tend to bring about disastrous results._

_Therefore, I reasoned, as I am practically destined to spend lots of time there over the next little while, until I get the hang of things, and only slightly less time after that, perhaps I ought to go in and make friends with the good folk of the Clinic right off the top, and maybe even warn them right away that I prefer _pink_ thread for my stitches. _

_And that, dear Diary, is just what I did. _

_Right after I inadvertently eavesdropped on a conversation between the two staff members the place has to boast. _

_I hate men. _

_I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate men. _

_"Don't work yourself into an unhealthy state of exhaustion and waste away, dying painfully by inches; I can't run this place without you!" _

_And then he had the gall to tell me that he didn't know why she was upset! _

_Grr. _

_So, I spent an hour, give or take, hanging about her desk for some Girl-Chat. _

_At first, all she said was "Hmmm…", but eventually I managed to get a real conversation out of her. She thought my preference for pink stitches was rather adorable, which is strange; most people find it a little morbid. _

_Fifteen minutes later, by the power a mutual love of chocolate cake and teddy bear collections, Miss Elli and I were fast friends. _

_High time for a little friendly advice. _

_I tried to suggest that she deserved someone who actually valued her as the beautiful, sexy maid-fetish she is instead of just a clerical assistant, but she just turned varying shades of red and hid in her apron. I told her that she shouldn't hide such a pretty face, and for some reason, she told me that she doesn't swing that way. _

_I wonder what that meant. _

_And I wonder why she ran away when I started rubbing her shoulder – she looked awfully tense, you know. _

_I suppose the poor thing must be shy. How sweet! _

_At any rate, with Miss Elli hiding upstairs in her bedroom, and me wanting nothing less than to talk to the man who had upset her, I took my leave, resolve set in my mind that I would find that poor girl a boyfriend. _

_But all work and no play makes Wendy a grouchy dating advisor, so I took a little break before resuming the hunt. _

_Well, beginning the hunt, technically. _

_And so, I sauntered toward the Library, because I've always had a fondness for them, despite the undeniable fact that I haven't had time to pick up a book in the last four years. _

_And also, because I'm still a little disoriented by a new place, and I thought that maybe they might have a little map of the town posted somewhere. They didn't, and Mary, the girl at the desk gave me a very strange look when I suggested it. _

_Nevertheless, she seems like a very nice girl, and there's something familiar about her; I just can't put my finger on it, but for some reason, I get the feeling that she would really like them to 'please give her back her book'. Odd. _

_Nevertheless, Miss Mary is a _very_ nice girl. Although, she seems a little bit lonely. _

_Oh! Gasp! That's it! _

_I'll just have to find _her_ a kind, loving boyfriend to properly appreciate the distinctly adorable sexiness of glasses, a pleated skirt, knee-socks, and Mary Janes! _

_So! A man with a housemaid/nurse fetish for Miss Elli, and a man with a schoolgirl/librarian fetish for Miss Mary! _

_That shouldn't be terribly hard to do; men, you know. _

_Really, I do hate them, but in this case, their utter predictability is rather nice. _

_Love and scribbles, _

_Wendy. _

_------------------------------------------- _

_**Spring 4 **_

_Dear Diary, _

_At last! At last! At long last, I have crop seeds, and can actually _plant_ something on my great expanse of rock-and-twig-filled land! _

_Humm. I suppose the rocks and twigs might be a problem. _

_Nevertheless, I did spend much of the morning clearing away a big enough patch to plant my turnips, and my potatoes, and my cucumbers. And oh, watering is so much fun! I think I'm really going to love it here. _

_And the social end is going to be just as exciting, I think. _

_I met some more of the young folk of town, and a very strange lot they are turning out to be! I met the young lady from the Supermarket again during my Super Seed Shopping Spree, and our conversation this time consisted of a bit more than swapping names and her threatening my life. _

_Instead, she told me all about seeds, and explained all the different vegetables and how long they generally take to sprout into something sellable. And then she gave me a bag of grass seeds! Then her father reminded her that she's not getting paid for occasionally helping out until it becomes less _occasional_ and more of a full-time job, and she ran, screaming, from the store. _

_Odd. _

_But she seems like a nice girl, too. _

_(Although, if she doesn't have a steady job taking up all her time, she can probably find her own boyfriend. It's good to know that at least _one_ girl in this town has the right priorities!) _

_After the Supermarket, I dropped in at the Clinic to say hello to Miss Elli and bring her a nice bunch of flowers I found whilst scurrying crazily about the hills in search of my daily profit until the crops decide to show their little crop faces. _

_Unfortunately, the Clinic was closed, so I only found the Doctor, and he didn't seem terribly happy when I asked to see Elli. He told me that she goes to visit her grandmother and baby brother on her days off, but I got the impression that he would very much prefer to tell me where _I_ ought to go. _

_I asked him where this mysterious Grandma's House might be located, and he just sort of waved his hand vaguely and said, "Somewhere over there, I think; I don't really know." _

_Which, Diary dear, I firmly believe is just silly. There are all of twenty-three buildings in this town by my estimation, and if he has lived her long enough to develop _this _kind of chip on his shoulder towards outsiders, he has also lived here long enough to identify _twenty-three_ buildings. _

_It's rather distressing that my new friend's boss dislikes me so strongly, as I had planned to use him as my first source of information regarding her type of men. _

_But alas, no. He refused to provide so much as a hint._

_Perhaps her grandmother will be a little more helpful? _

_At any rate, my day did not stop at the Clinic. _

_After all, I still hadn't seen Elli, and these flowers weren't going to deliver themselves! I found her at her grandmother's, which the red mustached potato pointed me to, since certain _Doctors_ proved utterly useless in the whereabouts of their nurses' family homes. _

_Elli recognized me immediately, but we couldn't talk for long, because it turned out that, just as I walked in the door, she was getting ready to go do something upstairs that would require her full concentration and leave her none to visit with her new friends. _

_Of all the rotten luck! _

_But I did get to deliver her flowers before she went to begin her job, and she did seem delighted, even though she continued giving me a strange look. _

_At any rate, I did not want to begin our friendship by keeping her from her necessary jobs, and so took my leave, after a quick hello to the kindly old lady in the wheelchair by the window, and the hyperactive little dark-haired energy molecule bouncing about the room. _

_My next stop was the Church, where I met the kindly, if remarkably verbose, Pastor Carter, as well as a miserable young man who desperately needs my help. _

_Cliff, this poor soul's name is. I don't know the story of his tragic past (having met him approximately six hours ago – what sort of idiot goes around relating their Tragic Past to new acquaintances?), but it must be something terrible. Something that has led him to dress in rags and completely abandon personal hygiene. Something that has left him unable to speak in complete sentences, or even form coherent fragments. _

_Poor fellow. _

_Clearly, he needs a woman. _

_At first, I thought, 'this might be the answer to your prayers, Wendy! Haven't you just been searching for a pair of unattached males? Although he's hardly a pair, he could solve _half _your current problem!' _

_I considered Elli briefly. But I fear that such a sweet, sympathetic soul as Elli would be driven quickly mad by such perpetual misery, unable to help in any way beyond the occasional cuddle. _

_Then I considered Mary, even more briefly. But, as Mary is a librarian, and a very eloquent one at that from what I recall, I fear she would be driven even more swiftly insane by a man who has yet to master the concept of a full sentence. _

_This is indeed a Pickle. I have two unattached women who desperately need men, and one unattached men who desperately needs a woman, yet is entirely unsuitable for either of the aforementioned. _

_Buggeration. I'll need to sleep on this. _

_And so, Diary dear, do I sign off for tonight. Do sleep well, and I shall be right beside you, attempting the same. May the morning dawn bright and beautiful when we shall meet again. _

_(I got that from a poem; isn't it pretty?) _

_Love and scribbles, _

_Wendy_

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End Notes: Ahem. Okay, I'm picking on Cliff a little. I'm sure he can take it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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**_Spring 5 – Thursday_**

_Dear Diary, _

_I have Done It! I have found the perfect woman for poor Mr. Cliff of the Cavemanesque Grunting and Poor Hygiene! _

_Who is this special girl, you might ask (although, most likely not, as you are a Diary and thus quite Inanimate)? A new acquaintance, actually. _

_On my first day, the mustache-bearing tomato pointed me down a path that branches off to the left from the road I take directly into town. He informed me that the Poultry Farm and Yodel Ranch were down that path. As I do not anticipate having the budget for either Poultry or Yodels (I assume this is another quaint country colloquialism for livestock) for several months yet, I paid little heed to his words. _

_However, after scouring the entire town for eligible men and women to complete Miss Elli, Miss Mary, and Mr. Cliff, I was becoming rather desperate. Thus, I thought that perhaps down this road, I might find the answer to my Pickle. _

_And right I was, Diary! The moment I met her, the sweet, lively pink-haired maiden, the shrill sounds of the tantrum she was busily throwing at her brother filling the air for miles around, I knew that her destiny would soon intertwine with that of poor Mr. Cliff. _

_This, of course, took a bit of research to confirm beyond 'a funny feeling'. And so, when the aforementioned brother, an adorable lad with long, silky, shimmering dark-blond hair that made me quite frankly jealous and beautiful blue eyes behind his glasses, asked me to go talk to her and bring her home, I jumped at the opportunity so joyfully that he looked rather as though he regretted asking. _

_Nevertheless, I did my job quite well, trotting along the mountain path until I found the distraught young lady. _

_It was quite easy; as soon as I drew near, the background music changed from the general, cheerful 'Hooray, It's Spring' music to the 'Look, A Pretty, If Vapid Pink-Haired Girl' music. _

_And so, I drew close, offered her a hankie (it had little cartoon monster-trucks on it, but it was all I had – I think it belonged to the old farmer, along with my overalls), and patted her shoulder until she stopped crying sufficiently to explain what had happened. _

_Apparently, she had left the chickens out in the yard, and the family woke up this morning to find a feathered corpse left by a wild dog. And, as no one particularly _likes_ their favourite pet/livelihood brutally murdered by the sharp teeth of a canine, her brother became rather upset. _

_However, as no one particularly likes being yelled at for something they already feel healthy amounts of guilt over, she got upset right back, and began throwing the tantrum that I walked in on. _

_Ohh, I'm absolutely _convinced_ that Miss Popuri will be the lucky girl to forcibly drag Mr. Cliff out of the comfortable pit of despair he's currently mired in, soaking contentedly in his own angst-fuelled filth! _

_Where, one might ask, did I get this idea? _

_Well, clearly Miss Popuri isn't the sort to disguise it when she is upset about something. This could be a good influence for Cliff. Something tells me that he needs to just have one good, long cry, and then get back to his life. Miss Popuri's generally sunny, cheery nature could do him some good, too. He is _definitely_ a man who needs to laugh more. _

_Also, as pretty and cheerful as she is, she doesn't seem terribly bright, so she would be far less likely than Miss Mary or Miss Elli to object to his…decided lack of eloquence in speech. _

_Meanwhile, I suspect that he could teach her a thing or two about what a _real_ problem is, which would lend some perspective the next time she considered throwing a tantrum over something silly, like her brother yelling at her for letting his favourite chicken be brutally ripped apart. _

_Ooh, I'm so excited! Now, all I have to do is figure out how on earth to get the two of them into the same room. _

_Mr. Cliff visits the Church an awful lot…I wonder if Miss Popuri is religious. _

_Humm. Somehow, this seems like a doomed line of thought. _

_Alright, where else does he generally spend his time? _

_I'll have to give this a little more thought. _

_In the meantime, however, I am a little irritated at the utter lack of things growing in my little vegetable garden. Scouring the hills for something, anything, to sell is becoming quickly exhausting. _

_Ah, such is life. _

_At least watering is still proving to be no end of fun. _

_Although, it would be awfully nice to buy a chicken. _

_Love and scribbles, _

_Wendy. _

_----------------------------------------------- _

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**_Spring 6 – Friday _**

_Dear Diary, _

_This is indeed a red-letter day. A momentous occurrence has rocked the very foundations of Mineral Town. Never again will Spring 6th be merely another day on the calendar. From this day forward, this will be known in the annals of the town as The Day Wendy's Turnips Began Sprouting. _

_Soon. Soon, they will be full-grown, and then I can sell them at a ridiculous price, and grow several more, and sell _them_ at a ridiculous price, and before long, a Chicken will be within my grasp. _

_Sooooooooooooon. _

_So for now, I'll have to settle for a chicken_ farmer

_This is what I might be saying, if not for the absolutely charmingly adorable scene I accidentally eavesdropped on this afternoon. _

_Sigh. I was right: Miss Karen _has_ found a boyfriend on her own. And that boyfriend is the boy with the lovely dark-blond hair and cute glasses. Everyone looks cute in glasses; I've come to accept this, and toyed with the idea of getting my own. _

_At any rate, it seems that this boy, Rick, is currently in charge of the household, as his father is out gallivanting somewhere. I didn't manage to overhear all the details, but I can certainly understand why he becomes a little snappish with his baby sister and her tantrums at times – the poor thing must be under a tremendous load of stress!_

_Luckily, Miss Karen, with her almost-as-pretty-as-his hair, seems to be more than willing to help him bear his burden. They talked for a spell about the farm, and about his father, and about his mother's poor health, and she seemed at all times hell-bent on talking him out of the nervous breakdown he was speeding merrily towards. _

_Then they left, and I think I might have overheard her offering to help with the chickens this afternoon. _

_Perhaps this is why she doesn't have time for a full-time job of her own? I think it's very sweet of her. She's overcoming her work-hating nature, just to help him with his work. And he's helping her overcome said nature, and she's growing into a stronger person as a result. _

_Ohh, I can't come between such an adorable budding romance. But damnation, I _want_ to! He has pretty eyes, and his hair looks soft and just perfect for burying your face in and drifting easily off to sleep after a hard day, and he's so sweet! He gave me an egg and everything! A really lovely egg, boiled in the Hot Spa. _

_Side-Note: I think I will avoid bathing in the aforementioned Hot Spa – I don't want to inadvertently sit on someone's dinner. _

_You know, it's not like _I_ couldn't help him with his ever-mounting stress level. And even his mother seems lovely! It's just not fair. If it wasn't for this stupid conscience, I would absolutely not think twice about pulling him out from under Miss Karen, and consequences be damned. _

_Unfortunately, my conscience is giving me uncomfortable pokes for even formulating and writing down such a notion. _

_And so, I left Goddess Pond in quite a foul little mood. _

_Which was not the best state to be in for a conversation with a perpetually grumpy carpenter. _

_Mr. Gotz. Great bloody meanie. _

_Not quite as bad as the fellow with the towel, but very nearly. _

_First, he grumped at me for being there. Oh, I suppose the mountains are _his_ private property, or something like that. Then he grumped that I shouldn't go walking in the mountains without a strapping young boy to make sure I didn't hurt myself. _

_Harrumph. He was making fun of me, I just know it. Somehow, with his mystical Grumpy Woodsman powers, he _knew_ that I was busily fretting over my sweet Richard being otherwise attached, and chose to maliciously harp on the matter of strapping young lads. _

Then_ he proceeded to ask me, very accusingly, just who I was anyway. I told him, 'I'm the new farmer, thank-you very much,' and he burst out laughing! He informed me kindly that I looked more like a fairy-princess than a farmer, and heavily implied that he didn't expect me to last out the season without getting distracted by a shiny thing. _

_Harrumph, I say. _

_Oh, and then! And then, he insisted upon walking me home, as though I was some silly child who couldn't be trusted to get there safely! I think he must have noticed that I was miffed, through some miracle realized that it was his doing, and felt badly, because he also fixed the loose shingles on my roof. _

_Although, he said it was to compensate for stealing all my trees. Odd. _

_Ah, well. _

_Once I was back home, I watered and fertilized my crops, and played with my puppy, and had such fun that I nearly forgot about all the bad things that have happened today. _

_Thus, I _was_ in a fairly good mood when I started writing this entry. Until I relived the crushing agony of losing the one true love of my life before I even had a chance to _have_ him. _

_Mr. Gotz the Great Bloody Meanie didn't help. _

_But at least my shingles are fixed now. _

_And on this note, I shall retire and pray that tomorrow be a better day. _

_Good night, dear Diary. _

_Love and scribbles, _

_Wendy. _

_-----------------------------------------------------------_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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_Spring 7 – Saturday _

_Dear Diary, _

_What a day. _

_I awoke this morning from dreams of long, silken-soft dark blond hair and a warm friendly smile of welcome with the sunshine of an entire summer in my heart, illuminating my very being. _

_I think I frightened my doggie. All that random glowing, you know. _

_And the sudden bursts of impassioned love songs. _

_But it didn't last long. Once I had emptied some delicious pig innards into Snoopy's dish and emptied some delicious Oat Bran into my own, I pulled back the curtain, anticipating the warm, fragrant early morning sunlight, and instead found the world a dark, gloomy place, with torrents of rain cascading down my window. _

_And at almost the very same moment, _reality_ worked its way into my dream-addled brain and reminded me pettishly that Rick is Strictly Off-Limits. _

_Then I sat down and had a little cry. _

_  
Well, the weather was doing it! I wanted to play, too! _

_But at long last, after a good deal of snuggling with my decidedly unwilling canine friend, I cheered up sufficiently to drag on the old farmer's leftover overalls and the closest reasonably pretty flannel shirt (the one with the little pink rosebuds today), and slogged outside to water my crops. _

_Then I sat myself down and gave myself a good, long talk about the side effects of rainy days on a field full of crops eagerly awaiting water. The water falling from the sky, I told myself firmly, is absolutely no less wet than the water transferred from my fishpond to my crops by the vessel of my watering can. _

_After that, I pondered exactly what I was to do with this long, wet day. Foraging was, and remains, absolutely out of the question. I am, after all, still a City Girl, with distinct City Girl tendencies, which include a flat refusal to go running around the mountains in the rain. _

_And also, Elli told me she would give me a sound scolding and a liter of ginger tea if I got sick gallivanting about in a spring rainstorm. _

_She also told me about the Goddess Festival tomorrow. It seems that there's a dance performance featuring the young ladies of the town. I'm looking very forward to seeing Elli, Mary, Miss Karen, and Miss Popuri dressed up in pretty dresses and flowers and dancing about like little Goddesses-in-training. _

_Next year, however, I'll apparently be expected to participate in a more direct way. _

_Sad-noise. _

_I tried to warn Elli that I have two left feet, and even gave her a demonstration that very nearly did severe damage to a potted aloe plant near her desk, but to no avail. She just slid the plant surreptitiously out of my path, giggled a bit, and told me that if Ann can do it, I can do it. _

_I don't believe I've met this Ann. She does, however, sound like my sort of girl. _

_Ah, yes; there's also the small matter of the date that I hadn't even begun to look for. I asked, only slightly hysterical, why no one had bothered to inform me that I would _need_ a date, and Elli just laughed again and said that no one had expected me to take it so seriously. She also said that if I was _really_ desperate, she and the Doctor would be my dates. _

_Harrumph. I would gladly take about half of that proposition, but I can't imagine spending the entire day with that stone-faced Doctor. I don't think he likes me very much, anyway. _

_And there's still the distressing matter of Elli continuing to gravitate to him. I've tried to explain that just because something is the _easy_ choice, it doesn't necessarily make it the _right _one, but she just blinked confusedly at me until I passed out of the cuteness. _

_My first thought for a date was that boy at the Church; if Miss Popuri hadn't already asked him herself, it would be an excellent chance for me to plant the seed, as it were, in his mind that she really _is_ awfully pretty, you know, and very sweet. _

_And so, off I went to the Church, only to have the shock of my life, when Cliff announced, going about twelve shades of red, that he already had a date, but thank-you for the thought. _

_This is wonderful news, though; I suppose Popuri is a little more driven than I gave her credit for, the pretty little minx! _

_I'm such a fantastic matchmaker. _

_Nevertheless, I still didn't have a date. _

_Thus did I end up at the Poultry Farm, almost without any idea how I got there, standing on the front step in the rain with my heart in my throat. _

_And I stood there, and stood there, and stood there, until a voice asked, slightly impatient, if I was planning on going _inside_ at some point. _

_I laughed like an idiot, and Miss Karen shook her head and laughed too. Then she dragged me inside and asked the owner of the farm, Rick and Popuri's mother Lillia, for a towel for me. _

_Then, while she was giving my hair the drying of its life, she called over to Rick that she'd pick him up for the Festival at nine tomorrow morning, since Popuri was helping her with her hair anyway. I, meanwhile, stood there like a crash test dummy and blushed furiously with shame that, while Miss Karen was being so nice and helpful and making sure I didn't catch cold, I was fully intent upon stealing her boyfriend. _

_Although, they don't act particularly like young lovers. Of course, they act like they could _become_ so any time, but it seems that we're still on a level playing field. _

_Ack! So terribly conflicted! I adore watching young love blossom before my eyes, but…Rick! He has such pretty eyes, and such a cute smile, and such a nice laugh, and he likes animals, and he does the family's taxes himself, and he offered to do mine when I tried to add ten with thirteen and got a headache, and…and he's got a lovely girlfriend almost as sweet and perfect as he is. _

_Well, maybe everything will work out. _

_Maybe she'll move away, or become a nun, or fall screaming down a ravine, or something. _

_That wasn't nice. _

_Just the first two, then. _

_At any rate, while the three (Karen, Rick, and Popuri) were talking animatedly about all the delights that might come tomorrow, I snuck dejectedly out of the house. _

_Then I snuck dejectedly and sheepishly back in and gave Mrs. McGuire, who has insisted that I call her Lillia, back her towel. _

_Then I snuck dejectedly back out into the rain, and across the street to the Blacksmith's shop, on the hunt for a fire to banish the chill of a rainstorm and unrequited love. _

_Honestly, there are far more young people in Mineral Town than I thought. The blacksmith, Mr. Saibara, has his grandson apprenticing. And a sulky little fellow he is, too! His name is Gray, he lives in a hat, and he apparently "don't take kindly to strangers," as the quaint small-town cliché goes. His grandfather yelled at him for yelling at me, and then, when he found out I wasn't actually going to buy anything, yelled at me, too. _

_And so, miserable and flustered, I bolted back out into the rain. _

_On the way out, I met Miss Mary, and upon recalling that I had absolutely no way to fill the rest of the day aside from moping around, I followed her back in. _

_She thanked Mr. Saibara for doing such a nice job upgrading her lucky pen, while I skulked in the background like a nervous little shadow. _

_  
And then it happened. The scowly little apprentice somehow contrived to put a deep gash in his hand with the hammer he was repairing. _

_For some reason, I feel a strange kinship with him… _

_At any rate, Mary bandaged it up for him as best she could, but in the meantime, I had A Brilliant Idea. _

_THIS was the man for Elli! Sulky, and grumpy, and klutzy enough to need medical attention on a regular basis! It came back to me in a sudden rush, the schoolteacherish side I saw her exhibit when she ordered the winery owner with the skunk-patterned hair out of the Clinic waiting room and away from his hobby of picking on the Supermarket owner. She could easily apply it to Mr. Gray's sulky-and-grumpy demeanour, and hopefully make him realize that he's acting like a silly little boy. And then, just to show that there are no hard feelings, she could give him a nice cuddle afterwards! _

_And! And-and-and, with his seeming penchant for accidents, she would have every opportunity to practice her nursing skills, and improve her talents until she no longer felt the need to cling stubbornly to the Doctor! _

_And so, mind made up and burning with a renewed fire, I seized Gray by the arm and began to drag him from the shop. _

_"I think you ought to get that taken care of at the Clinic," I said, only to receive two looks that strongly implied the possibility that I was sprouting a second or third head (Saibara and Gray), and one look that implied that same possibility, but more politely (Mary). _

_Nevertheless, Mary did back me up, telling Gray that she would feel a little more comfortable if he at least got it checked for infection. And I suppose Mr. Gray must have as much respect for Miss Mary as a superior intellect as I do, because as soon as she spoke, he stopped trying to kick me off, and came quite willingly to the Clinic. _

_"Injured man!" I called as we burst through the door. "Injured man in need of the healing touch of a cute young nurse!" _

_And then, if you'll believe it, the _doctor_ proceeded to escort poor Gray to the cot and inspect his cut, while Elli ran for disinfectant. _

_So, I kidnapped the doctor. _

_"Let young love run its course," I entreated, dragging him back out into the waiting room beneath the startled eyes of one nurse and one mini-blacksmith. _

_"Does it have to run its course during business hours?" he sighed before heading grudgingly upstairs _

_Men say such odd things. _

_At any rate, Elli did splendidly, disinfecting and bandaging Gray's hand with a skill and finesse never before seen in a nurse with no formal training at all. She even kissed it better for him, although she turned bright red afterwards and apologized, admitting that she'd forgotten whom she was dealing with for a moment, and thought that Gray was Stu. _

_He did not look impressed. _

_Ah, well. At least they're in one another's minds now. Surely it won't be long before they realize that they need one another in their arms and homes and lives forever and ever. _

_And with this comfortable certainty, dear Diary, I recap my pen and retire for the night. _

_And realize, with a sad whimper and a good deal of swearing, that I never did manage to find a date for the festival tomorrow. But I suppose it _will _give me time to keep an eye on the potential happy couples. _

_Alas, the life of a dedicated matchmaker is a lonely existence indeed. _

_Love and scribbles,_

_Wendy. _

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